The Mind Shift Part 1: Fear

Hello everyone! It’s Wednesday- the week is half way over and I hope it has found you in great spirits so far! Today, I’d like to introduce you to The Mind Shift Part- a four part series of blog posts that will cover the reasons why people fail to make the shift in their minds necessary to pursue their dreams. Now, when I first started thinking about how to structure this series of posts (specifically today’s post) I had no idea where to start! Sure, I had a lot of content that I wanted to include, but I was still having a hard time figuring everything out. This afternoon, I was Skyping with my boyfriend, Caleb, and after an interesting conversation that we had, I finally figured out how to start off this post- a personal story.

Two summers ago, I was put into a situation  where someone that I thought was my friend hurt and betrayed me.  Unfortunately for me, when it came to this individual’s attention that I knew of their actions, they thought it more convenient for them to pretend as if nothing happened. Because of the complexity of the situation, I was unable to properly address the individual and their actions against me. So, for a year, this individual pretended as if nothing happened, and attempted to go about their interactions with me in that manner-as if nothing happened. I was always cordial and polite, but  every time I interacted with this person, I was reminded of what they did. Like I said, I was nice, but it was very obvious to them that the relationship we had was different. Naturally, the individual often became indirectly frustrated and angry with me because they  wanted me to brush the situation under the rug as they did, but it was very difficult for me to do- especially without the opportunity to properly address the problem. .

Earlier this year, circumstances in my life made it so I was not around that individual anymore, and things have been a lot better for me. For the most part, I thought I was finally feeling closure with the situation. However, after having that conversation with my boyfriend earlier today, I realized that I am still pretty upset about what happened. Thanks to that  conversation and some “self-evaluation”, I finally knew what I had to do. I learned that in order for me to find peace with the situation and be happy, I had to change. I had to make a shift in my thinking and feelings about the situation. I had to accept that this individual was not going to admit to doing anything wrong, probably never would, and that I wasn’t helping myself by continuing to be upset. The situation isn’t going to change- it’s still going to be negative, so who has to change? Me. I have to change. I can’t wait for that person to come make things right anymore, and I can’t continue to let them be in charge of my happiness- I have to make the shift.

Making the shift can be hard when it comes to taking a step off the normal path of life and pursuing your desired lifestyle too. You’re taking everything you’ve learned about life from society (and maybe your family)  and challenging it.  As a result,your mind starts to play tricks on you and you start thinking of every possible thing that can go wrong, and how irrational you sound. Then, you psyche yourself out and stay in the situation you’re already in- feeling upset or dissatisfied with your life. Why does that happen? Fear. When I was thinking about my situation and the change I had to make, I started thinking of every bad thing that could possibly occur by making this shift. In all reality, nothing bad is going to happen by making the shift, but because I am afraid, I start second guessing myself. Let’s stop doing that. Let’s stop second guess our desires to be happy. Yes, sometimes, it  feels safer to stay in a situation or mindset because you fear what will happen if you “rock the boat”. Honestly. the only thing you are doing by staying in the situation is settling for your dissatisfaction and letting your fear get the best of you. For example, you may hate your job at McDonald’s, and your real desire may be to open a clothing boutique. However, because you fear what will happen if you try to pursue that desire, you stay at McDonald’s. You stay dissatisfied. Plenty of people have successfully made the shift that  I have to make and the shift that you have to make. Have you ever stopped to think about those millions of people in the world who have successfully transitioned from following society’s life plan to following their own? All of the people who quit their jobs at McDonald’s and opened their clothing boutiques? Of course it was probably scary and of course they were probably afraid, but they went for it anyways because they knew that the end result would be abundant with happiness and better than where they were before.

If you really want to change your situation, you have to make a shift in your mindset. You can’t let your fears of the “unknown” or the “atypical” tie you to situations and lifestyles that you don’t desire. You can’t wait for society, your family, or anyone else to help you pursue your dreams and desires for your life. You can’t wait for your situation to magically change for the better because chances are it won’t. You have to do it yourself. Be in charge of your own happiness. It’s normal to feel nervous and afraid in the beginning, but like I said, even the most successful people felt that way. They didn’t just make the shift and instantly become brave. They made it through those initial stages, and once they did, the results were extraordinary. Sort of like the process of forming diamonds.

Diamonds are formed deep within the Earth in the upper mantle. It’s very hot in the upper mantle, and there’s a lot of pressure from the weight of the overlying rock bearing down. That combination of extreme heat and  pressure is what’s necessary to form diamond crystals. Like creating diamonds, making a shift in your thinking can foster a lot of pressure from everyone around you and invoke challenges within yourself. However, the way heat and pressure change the rock in the upper mantle into beautiful diamonds, is the same way the uncertainty you have and challenges you face will transform you into a diamond! This week, I challenge you to make the shift in your life that is necessary to further help you pursue your dreams, design a plan for your life, and be happy! I will be challenging myself to make the shift I need to make regarding my situation too! Remember do not be afraid, we’re on  this journey together! On Friday, be prepared to share your progress so far and I will share mine! Remember, you don’t have to be average, you can be extraordinary. You  don’t have to be a rock, you can be a diamond.

See you on Friday with blog post The Mind Shift Part Part 2 of 4: “Investing in Yourself”

-Kayla ❤

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