During the Christmas holiday one of my favorite movies to watch is This Christmas. For those of you who have seen the movie, you can probably remember the scene in the beginning when all the kids come home for the holiday. Lauren London’s character, Mel, tells everyone at the dinner table that she changed her college major again so that she had the same major as her new boyfriend. Apparently she changed her major quite often so that it would be the same as whoever her boyfriend was at the time which was why it was taking her seven years to finish her four year degree.
While sitting in a snow storm last night, that scene from the movie crossed my mind and it really made me think; this happens every day. A lot of people and a lot of you embrace other people’s dreams. Here’s why:
1) You want to please/ impress someone
2) You want to be around someone you like
3) You want to gain the attention of someone you like
Think about the times that you have done something for one of those three reasons. How did that situation turn out for you? How did it make you feel to pretend? What if you decide to join a team, pick up a hobby or pretend to be passionate about something just so you can advance your own personal motives that have nothing to do with the success of the goal or dream.Think about how that may affect the people you are working with. How do you think they would feel if they found out you were pretending to be interested and passionate about something? Here are some probable answers for you:
1)They will probably be upset to hear that you “used their dream” as a vehicle to advance your own motives.
2)They will probably be unhappy that you wasted their time.
3) They will probably be upset that you failed to see how important their dreams and goals are to them.
4) They will probably wonder why you aren’t embracing your own dreams.
Sorry to be brutally honest, but when people find out that you only pretended to be passionate or interested in something that they are truly passionate about, they aren’t going to think you are SWEET, CUTE, or SUPPORTIVE. When people are truly passionate about something, they do not have time to play games or deal with foolishness, and neither should you! Sure, some people may feel “flattered” by this, but the majority of people are going to want to know why you aren’t pursuing YOUR dreams, and you should be asking yourself that same question…
“What am I truly going to get out of embracing someone else’s dream?”
Some of you will go through life pretending to be excited about someone else’s dreams, and no one will ever know you’re pretending. It is possible that the person or group whose dream you’re supporting may be happy and flattered to have your support or see your “excitement” and “passion”, and you may feel satisfaction in knowing that they feel that way. However, that satisfaction is only temporary.
It is going to catch up to you eventually and when it does, it will leave you feeling empty.
Embracing someone else’s dream helps them, not you. Sure you may get someone to notice you, or to like you, but there will always be a void where your dreams should be and where your success should be. You will never receive satisfaction from someone else, and you will never receive success from someone else.Those things only comes from having your own passions, pursuing your own dreams, and living your own life. There may also be chance that you really mess up someone else’s dreams by pretending and wasting their time.This week, I challenge you to follow YOUR dreams, not someone else’s. Who knows, maybe following your own dreams will gain some attention of its own 😉
Remember, you don’t have to be average, you can be extraordinary. You don’t have to be a rock, you can be a diamond.
See you next Monday,