In honor of Diamonds and Dreams Poetry Month, check out this amazing poet Frantzline Tingue sharing her poem, I’m Worthy.
By: Frantzline Tingue
You’re nothing. You’re nobody. You are worthless. The words buzz at my ears and ache at my head. I remember them. They’re sharp and painful. I’m nothing. I’m nobody. I’m worthless. Nothing matters anymore. All I am and all I was is now gone. I sit at the end of the highway bridge. The cars zoom past behind me. Some cars beep. Do they see me? Do they wonder why I’m there? Why is she hanging out on the highway? Will she jump or is she just sitting there? Nah. Nevermind. They’re just there. They just are. And at the same time, they’re not. Just like I am to them. I stand up. I’m nothing. They’re nothing. We have our own lives. We just happen to live in the same world. But it doesn’t matter.
But wait. If they’re nothing and I’m nothing and life goes on, why am I here? Why am I doing this? I think back. I remember the words again. Yeah. That’s right. I remember. How can I forget? We might all be nothing in the same world but I’m beneath them. So far from nothing. They drive their cars and live their life but I’m just here- sitting at the end of the highway bridge. They don’t beep at me. I have to remember the words. I have to remember who I am. I’m nothing. I’m nobody. I’m worthless.
I take a step and look down. There’s water and large rocks. I take a breath. A deep breath. I can do this. I’m not a wimp. I’m not a punk. I can do this. I take another deep breath. I can hear them laughing. They’ll see. They’ll all see. They’ll regret their words. They’ll hurt so much that they’ll all do the same. I hope they will. I hope they can’t stand themselves. I hope they grab a gun and pull the trigger. Take a knife and jab it in. Take those pills and choke on them. Walk to a bridge and fall. Anyway. Anyhow. I just hope it’s done. I jump.
I’m falling. The wind is blowing in my ears. My hair flying all over the place. My eyes are wide. My face flabbing. My arms whalling. I can’t relax. What have I done? I’m falling. I’m falling to my death. It’s gonna hurt. There will be pain. My heart aches. I let out a scream. I’m screaming. I’m falling.
OH GOD HELP ME! TAKE ME! I DIDN’T THINK THIS THROUGH!
I’M NOT NOTHING! I’M SOMETHING! I’M SOMEBODY! I’M WORTHY! I MATTER! GOD! CAN YOU HEAR ME? SAVE ME!
I shake awake. I’m in my bed. I’m alive. I’m not falling. I’m not hurting. They are tears in my eyes. I remember my words. I’m something. I’m somebody. I’m worthy. I matter. I won’t ever think less or let someone else force me to believe that I’m worthless.